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  • Old Gaffer says…

    Dear all,

    My grandfather, the Old Gaffer himself, has asked me to inform you that he cannot post anything new at the moment as he is recovering from an eye operation. I’m pleased to say the operation went well, and he will be back as soon as he has fully convalesced.

  • 08.01.07, Meandering,Taxes, Watches, The NHS

    Pensions In my last offering I referred to how I felt the Government should take over all our pension provisions. I don’t go back on that, but what I do feel is that all, every bit contributed, should be ring fenced for pensions and not, like all the taxes to do with motoring, from purchase to Vat on insurance, which we all believe is used for anything but road improvement.

    Thinking about pensions made me realise two related aspects, my Grand Daughter’s mortgage equates to my total take home pay from my employment pension, my OAP and my investments, after deductions and tax, I’m not complaining, because, fortunately Nature, in her wisdom has cut down my ability to travel and add to that wide travel in the past, thus making the urge less strong. Also, I have enough clothes to last for ever, I can live reasonably within my income, but it makes me realise how close to the wind young people starting out are having to sail, if starting out is even feasible.

    Watches, labels and other peoples’ opinions. Obviously I had basic, almost off the scale, pocket and wrist watches before I bought a self-winding Omega, abroad at half price. Then I entered a new world where watch enthusiasts talked to me, enthused and behaved like stamp collectors. I relished it, until I had to get it cleaned, and discovered it really was only for the rich. Later it needed an MOT, so I bought a halfway posh watch. When it needed cleaned the manufacturer lost the innards. Weeks elapsed and to fill the gap I bought a digital cheapee, and that was the end of posh watches. A month ago the strap came off my 10 year old £15 watch and the watch fell into the toilet. Passing a jeweller’s I saw a ‘gold’ wristwatch cheaper than a new strap would have cost. It only cost £10 and I loved it because it looked like an heirloom and was wafer thin. The male members of our family have expensive and terribly complicated chrome watches, my injured left arm might find it even hard to lift. They didn’t admire my purchase, neither did the women, who like labels. It was then that I realised the cheapee had an easy face to read, while all the posh watches had copper coloured hands (red gold) on a slightly lighter dial that needed a 150 watt bulb to tell the hour after lighting up time. I think ‘Fashion’ is a real pain,!

    More NHS Dichotomies. Brown, in making his announcement concerning preventative medicine, was not discovering anything new, but he was being selective in applying it only to England, which may or may not have been a subtle ploy. I assume from this that N Ireland, Scotland and Wales, have their own budgets and can spend them how they like, but, I strongly suspect it really isn’t across the board. I find it amazing Brown sits in a hospital expounding a proposal for the future, instead of passing it round for comment in Parliament, especially when the Government is asking us to keep away from hospitals because of the current epidemic. Surely he is aware the hospitals are struggling with lack of funding, cleanliness, virulent virus epidemics, shortage of staff, waiting times and a differential service through the ‘postcode’ syndrome. Clearly he is seeking approbation, but at what expense to the service. He has added another previously unsought demand by the public, for more screening, when, according to the press, some of the standard screening required today is partly dependent upon charity supplying equipment that is in short supply and urgently needed, and the screening is behind schedule. Preventive medicine is the best way forward, but to announce, and launch into a nation wide scheme, rather than allow it to grow gradually, by referrals from doctors as required and as available, rather than demanded by right, defeats me. You decide why he did it this way!

  • 04.01.07, UK Politicos Speak with Forked Tongues

    I find that politicos today have the urge to utter something in order to be seen doing something, it could be bizarre, rather than being logical and careful. They make inaccurate statements which foster proposals of legislation, which in turn have to be rescinded or be modified. Here are examples.

    Longevity Again For years I have been stating that the longevity of my generation is a blip caused by repeated periods of austerity, coupled with the need to exercise, as public transport was the main means of travel, and with no TV, and Radio being in its infancy, exercise and sport were our main amusements, especially from March to October. The Government, however, is using its own extrapolations as a ruse to avoid continuing with pensions, and promulgating it as a theory, while at the same time inferring, by policy and rhetoric, that we are all in danger of dying of either obesity through bad eating and lack of exercise, liver damage through excessive alcohol consumption, and, worst of all, drug abuse. You can’t have it both ways and the statement we will be a population of 80m in the future, may be because of immigration, rather than indigenous child birth, certainly not longevity, virulent new, antibiotic resistant bugs, will see to that.

    Dustbins In NI If it had been the first of April I would have suspected a joke, but there was a report on the 6 o’clock NI News, last night, that people were to be fined £100 for putting out ‘contaminated’ bins for refuse and particularly recycling; ‘contamination’ meaning the inclusion of a prohibited material. Actually, where exactly does one find people with this level of ability to think up such an idea? This morning I could find no reference on the BBC NI Website, so the absurdity must have reached our masters and they have pulled back into their shells. Just to ram home the point if ever it should it arise again, we can’t guard our bins on the street from 7am, to avoid someone else putting an illegal material in our bin; or as we do, 8pm the previous night, so we get a lie-in. I’m sure at the rate they work, bin-men will only glance in the top of the bin, not rummage, so it could be contaminated further down. Anyway, in this day and age, I am sure the recycling industry will inevitably have to face ‘contamination’ through accident, absentmindedness, but not sheer disregard for the rules, and will be able to deal with the odd wrong article, it is only logical!

    The Xmas Rail Debacle. This business of repairing or modifying the track and essentials of the rails network over Christmas, and running over time, should have been anticipated and the work conducted in such a way that it could be done piecemeal. I suspect the lack of specialised workmen was more to do with labour relations than bad management – perhaps blackmail. The outcome of a stupendous fine, in millions, only may be necessary, and only may reduce the possibility of a recurrence, but the money should really be given to those hampered at such a time of family reunion, not the government who will use it for some other reason, even waste it, but as the people can’t prove they were hampered, that solution is useless.

    Pensions.
    Talking about funding, in this day and age the surety of banks, insurance companies and the Stock Exchange is so worrying, if not debateable, that pensions are now a source of worry. Pensions are essential if we are not to face a growing welfare budget and a breakdown in our financial and social condition. If the government has to bail out in the way it has and proposes, it seems logical that the tax payer is picking up the tab for mismanagement in a big way. I have failed to understand why our MPs, who are supposed to be caring for us, haven’t long ago made the Government responsible for a universal pension scheme along the lines of the one for the Civil Service, (which, incidentally, it is trying to weasel out of as I write,) – a contributory pension, with an input from the employer, who ever he is, all paid to the Government. We would then, theoretically, avoid our pensions disappearing along with our jobs, or Government and private employers forcing us to go into a tricky market as amateurs, and or using some disreputable agents or companies, to make our own arrangements. Just think of those who, seeing what had happened to others’ pensions, bought property, which is now in danger of reducing in price and stagnation. It is our Treasury, it is our money doing the bolstering, so why not take out the unknown from the equation and ensure all those still working have a secure, if not necessarily affluent old age.

  • 02.01.08, The Job Description of a PM.

    The writing yesterday forced me to examine the the selection process of a Prime Minister; but until the 40s, Royalty were really Sovereigns. We mostly saw them on News Reel footage at the cinema, being very royal and everyone else bowing and scraping, in some part of the Empire. We were proud to be British, because life was ordered, simple and we knew our place, and we accepted government in all its forms. There were rumbles like the Miners’ Strike, but generally things were OK. The glue which kept us all together as a nation was firm. From the 60s all has changed and the glue has become weaker, year on year, as our Britishness has been eroded. The Royals are no longer elevated above us, we’ve discovered they’re actually human. We have arrived now, at a point where we have a law determining Racial Discrimination, which means we are a polyglot, not a nation, with a large membership that holds its prime loyalty, its culture and its first language all to the nation of its antecedents. The glue has almost vanished and running a country in these circumstances needs a vary steady hand.

    An Ideal Concept of a PM is that he is a father figure and the 60 million of his charges are his family, and therefore he must encourage the gifted, guard the majority and care for the unfortunate and sick. He should place his country first in all things, negotiate on that premise, understand management in all spheres and favour no person or group above others. A tall order!

    Breaking it down more practically, it equates to being the head of a huge company, a role which requires understanding in man management, finance, diplomacy, welfare and in this case foreign policy. Man management is not something one can learn from a book, it takes the experience of controlling people from all levels of society, with discretion, understanding and discipline and is not acquired overnight. The numbers he will have to manage, from the Cabinet, the civil service, and the country will test him. Foreign policy and diplomacy demand a knowledge of history, and the traditions of other cultures, to avoid gaffs and misunderstanding, whether real or feigned and so used as an excuse. Every boss has to have a knowledge of all the functions related to his firm, so he can monitor performance, however crudely. Above all he must have an insight into the minds of people, understand signals which interpret if they are what they wish to be seen as. Absolute trust is implicit in a working relationship, and disruptive actions and factions must be recognised and eliminated.

    What do we seek in a PM? He must obviously be intelligent, not afraid of long hours and hard work, have been educated in those subjects needed for a political career. He should have served on the backbenches long enough for the parliamentary system to become a reflex response, long enough to assess the characters of most of the major players in Parliament and especially in his own party. He must understand the working of the Treasury, the Foreign Office, the Home office and the tax system, in sufficient detail to be able to evaluate advice at times of crisis, and have the confidence to act decisively, immediately but with care, having taken all the parameters into account – not shoot from the hip! He must have sufficient self belief, and sufficient charisma not to require constant photo opportunities to bolster his ego and ensure his popularity. His place is in No 10, when times are tricky, not sitting in a classroom for a sound-bite. He has to have sufficient men of similar standard within his party, whom he can rely upon and trust implicitly, in order to function as a true Government, not an oligarchy, or worse still as a President. I know there have been young Prime Ministers in the past, but I believe the current speed of communication, the pressure of the media, and the apathy of the electorate, demand a very special person at the helm, to be able to counter these and other influences and steer a straight course. Perhaps he should be very careful also of how much credence to give to his spin doctor, if indeed he needs one. The question I ask, now politics is not generally the first choice of the extremely gifted, is, ‘Is there such a man with such a backing available and willing?’

  • 01.01.08, Questionable Actions

    I question everything, even myself, and there are few in authority I would trust any more, there have been such vast changes in probity and mores. This is my interpretation of statements, actions and their ultimate effect.

    QA 1, A statement by Prof. Iain Stewart on ‘Earth’. Those who followed the series of TV programmes on the history of the Earth may also be questioning. Why, for example, with a worldwide debate and disagreement on the approach to Globwarm, would he imply that the whole process of change, not just climate change, was so far advanced, it was irrecoverable? He did add that it was not the earth which was in peril but things living on it. The earth could, and would rejuvenate after a mass disaster as it had in the past. I have never subscribed to these tickles at ‘Saving the World’, and was convinced they were only lip-service, an opportunity to appear to be taking the high ground, providing a new industry for profit, government sponsored, at the cost to the tax and rate payer. Why then, when the bigger abusers of carbon emission are refusing to accede to any measurable reduction, would he make a statement that plays into their hands? In effect, we have to look out for the natural world. The next question, assuming he is right and his programme is based upon valid science, as I believe it is, ( it seems to hang together), is why is it only coming to light now when it was probably assessed at least a couple, or more years ago? If he knew, surely the government scientists knew.? Have we then been led by the nose? I always thought the solar panels were of little profit to the householder, even less to Globwarm, but provided an industry someone was profiting by. Questions along those lines induce others; for example, If all this is known, why do we have a clause in the Home Information Pack that gives a co2 grade to our property? Why is a personal carbon footprint being considered when the bureaucracy alone would be phenomenal? Surely the solution base has changed.

    QA 2 Is it right for a Prime Minister to ease himself into the seat of office while the cushions are still warm, without an election and without being the Deputy? The way ministers come and go, for many reasons, we might have even three Prime Ministers in this parliament. In all my 65 adult years, while I had not the same time or interest in politics that I have now, I never remember so many u-turns, questionable decisions, so many debacles, as we have had in the last 15 or so years and especially lately when nothing is going smoothly. When you read that English is the minority language in 1,300 schools, 11,000 migrants are working illegally as security guards, 80% of labour’s new jobs have gone to foreigners. That we have the Home Information Pack forced on us, and only 1% of home buyers ask to see it, yet the system in Scotland appears very satisfactory. Almost daily information is being mislaid by Government departments, youngsters of 8 can obtain a gun licence, and that’s only a few, you I’m sure will know dozens.

    QA 3 At what age is a politician experienced enough to sift the wheat from the chaff, when he is being advised and making ground breaking decisions?
    I was brought up in an age when politicians were mostly pretty old, came from political families, and most were wealthy. Later there were the ones like Anuran Bevin from the unions, and academics like Shirley Williams. The pace of life was slower as was the rate of change, the latter was hardly noticeable until the 60s. Now, in my late 80s, I believe I have been aware of a lot, and experienced much, Experience leads one to question, especially one’s own reactions and philosophies, and not only what others say, but why they have said it. In any field, one is learning continuously, and learning is as much about correcting mistakes as study, and above all, experience hones that learning. In Tony Blair we had a young politician, with 11 years parliamentary experience, catapulted into office at the age of 41. He had a mission, rejuvenating and modernising labour, which he achieved, but, I suggest, his mercurial mind and ambition over rode caution and careful thought. The result we know. With him came Brown, a different personality, kept in the background through Tony’s Presidential approach, with the results we now discover. The Signing Summit showed lack of political awareness, and total inexperience. Currently we have two contenders for the chair, also relatively inexperienced, untested in real government, theorising and cavilling. I fear for the future.

  • 30,12.07, Beauty, Originality and Aesthetics.

    Proceeding from 29,12.07, I have a theory that more than basic intelligence is imparted in the genes, it includes advancement for us to have arrived technically where we are to day. My great grandchildren handling construction toys, telephones and other modern gadgets, with a rate of assimilation so great, I cannot but believe is to be merely copying their parents. These comments also refer to Art, its derivation in the mind of the artist, our reaction to it, and its artistic value as an abstract. Does the gene theory allow a shift in what is taken, generation by generation, as being high art, or is it just fads generated by the artists, and publicised by themselves and their entourages.

    The one yardstick for the individual is his own conception. I quote a substandard picture accepted in an open, accredited exhibition, while one which had received considerable praise was rejected – QED. I think in art, the accepted standard for centuries was work like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and the sculpture, the Pieta, by Michelangelo which must have had a damning effect on the self-esteem of any artist who saw them, as would work at that time by other great artists.. The concept of the Pieta, with the body of Christ removed from the cross, lying in the arms of his mother, has such poignancy, delicacy of portrayal, and such surety of carving as to be riveting. In any regime there is within most, an unacknowledged driving force, to compete. If the race is won before the off, then the rules must be changed, which has been done in all spheres of art.

    Take Jackson Pollock, I believe his work is decoration arrived at by unusual means, a bicycle on one occasion I’m told, through luck, circumstance, and an innate sense of the aesthetic, which we all have to some degree. His success could only have been through publicity of a high standard. That oft portrayed side of raw beef by Chaim Soutine, is another case of being different for its own sake. Why it is so popular I fail to understand.. The Impressionists, the Cubists, Feininger in particular, Franz Marc with his wonderful horses, were often successful in breaking away from the traditional form, and Picasso led his own revolution. However, the trick was not to be just different, one had to be excellent as well – see the draughtsmanship of Dali.

    How much of our aesthetic judgement has been modified by out-side influences until we are no longer able to assess dispassionately? When I see the cheap films issuing from the States, with their excessive violence, their cheap cutting, and the paucity of that necessary level of consideration for others which is akin to love, that keeps us sane, together and oils the wheels, I despair. Wham Bam at every opportunity; rutting, if you like, is substituted as intimate love, which has no need to be expressed so graphically. I’m bored with it, but I don’t count, it is how it is affecting the young, changing their values on all levels not only aesthetically, which worries me.

  • 29.12.07, The F word and Romance

    A caveat – what I write is from my own experience, reading and hearsay, not research. It all started through the paucity of good, amusing films, and the repetitious new versions of the old staples, like Kidnapped. Some have filled the gap, like Notting Hill and Love Actually, but I was brought up short when the ‘F’ word was sprinkled in them like confetti. It has been with me all my life, in the navy, on the building site, on the rugby field, and I have used it more than once to make an extreme point, but rarely taken it home with me. I didn’t discover its regular use until I was 18 and a sailor, but now it seems to be common currency, not just an epithet signalling extreme rage. My mind then questioned whether the act of love itself, had also been degraded and that romance was not as prevalent as it was in the 20s to 50s, possibly because life is so much faster there isn’t time for protracted romance.

    When we went to the cinema with our tanner for a seat almost touching the screen we watched Fred Astaire and Ginger romancing; Robin Hood totally romancing, and lovely romantic musicals with fantastic singable songs and amusing lyrics. There were always films about war and crime and through WW2 there were patriotic ones to boost the home spirits like ‘In Which We Serve’ Even these films still keep reappearing now. Think of the incredible production of ‘My Fair Lady’, the Bond chain. We could cite numerous other successes, like the ‘Thomas Crown Affair’. Unlike some of my family, I found ‘Notting Hill’ with its awful lodger in the house with the blue door, acting as a trigger in a placid atmosphere, to be incredibly well constructed. It had that underlying friendship. love and understanding between the support characters which made it refreshing. There was no wham bam, the aggression was provided by the avid Press, something we all abhor, and apart from the odd gratuitous word ‘Fuck’, even my old Gran would have loved it. ‘Love Actually’, in a different league, seems to be an acquired taste I developed instantly, as it was so contrary in every respect, but so outrageously funny, one could understand the reason for the crass language. The kids dressed as for a fancy dress party and used in the school nativity play, was an act of genius, it offered so many moments of humour. On the other hand I wonder why Film Directors feel it necessary to introduce martial arts skills into films where the characters have no need to perform impossible acts of athleticism, and running on the roofs of umpteen cars, and mass, pointless crashes and destruction serve no scriptural advantage, but that and the indulgence in brutality are sending the wrong message to young impressionable children, because the parental care notices are rarely seen and if seen rarely acted upon.

    So I come to romanticism. I am a romantic and I believe, deep down most people are. This doesn’t mean I want to see stories of the sort in some women’s magazines. Life today, like it was in the 20’s, is difficult enough for many, not necessarily only the poor, We need light, friendship and love in our lives, if we haven’t time or the opportunity to find it for ourselves, we, like those in the 20s should find it on tap. It is years since I watched Soaps, but my remembered impression was that they were a series of disasters interspersed with aggression. Contrast, colour, surprise and regret, love and hate, happiness and despair, are the ingredients of great stories, it is the balance between dark and light, between love and hate which determines a dark crime epic and a romantic comedy, and in my experience there is more dark than light. It is more difficult, today, to be funny than it was without retreading old themes. Similarly it is equally difficult to be original in serious films of dark deeds and history, it has all been done. It seems the only option to achieve something approaching originality is to jazz it up out of all recognition to reality, or just keep repeating the old staples. In effect, because I remember old films well, my search for future original and acceptable entertainment is unlikely to be satisfied very often.

    The dilemma faced by the film makers has vexed artists since Michaelangelo, and will never go away. To clear my brain as to what is originality and what is beauty in the wider sense, I leave till tomorrow.

  • 28.12.07, A Rant About Food

    I might lose another friend by talking about her cooking, but she can’t use a computer and her husband is too highbrow to read my blog, I’m probably safe. Have you ever bought defoliating choc-ices on a stick? Soph buys them because, after a gargantuan repast, they are all I can face for a sweet. Probably invented for small children. The only problem is there are no instructions on the packet. Small children might be excused mucking up the table, their person, treading chocolate into the carpet, and having small chocolate elements attached to their cheek. The instructions, if sensible, would command you to strip off, get in a bath and then eat the wretched things as they thaw, plates of slightly melted chocolate, showering round you. Could it be they are designed to defoliate as a character building ploy, temper control perhaps?

    At last I understand something which has defeated me for years, why we insist on hiding the flavour of our beautiful British ingredients, by dousing them in flavouring from hot countries, where, before fridgeration was common it was generally intended to hide the taste of deteriorating provender. My friend is a Chef freak. Stick a tall white hat on your head, hang a steel at your waist and she’ll listen to all the garbage you like to utter, providing it’s on cooking. A high proportion of our current TV Chefs slip chilli, paprika, KN pepper and black pepper into anything they take the notion to. They taste it., and I bet even if it’s a disaster, they still smile, lick their lips and say it’s ‘super’. My friend then, remembering roughly what he said, not having taken notes, compiles the ingredients, adding a dash or two of several of the additives and proceeds to ruin my digestion. There are a few continental recipes which can compete with our traditional ones, but not the number offered, hourly, somewhere on TV.

    Globwarm and widely travelled food. I must explain that very old people don’t mix like normal people, and so, they get their information from TV, the newsprint, and the internet if they have grandchildren who insist they lean how. There are some poor souls in homes who get no info from one year’s end to another.. You must therefore take this into account when I write about Globwarm. Today I read and hear so very much garbage about us saving the planet all on our own, anyone would think our politicians wanted to be seen to be World Leaders. Where have they been, in a home? Most of it boils down to window dressing, but it is costing us through silly legislation, which achieves so little proportionately, when balanced against what it is costing us in time and money. True it is a new industry, but from where I sit, other more serious global problems take precedence. One ironic complaint by Globwarmers is that fruit etc. is imported out of British season increasing the co2 footprint, in another breath they are extolling us to help under developed countries get on their feet by buying their produce. I rest my case

  • A Letter to the NI Toutist Board, or any TB.

    This basically is a corollary to the two pieces on Ireland preceding it.  Originally it was intended as a letter to the Northern Ireland Tourist Board, but as immigration seems to have taken hold, I think it could apply to a lot more. In effect I am writing to the NI Board and if it rings a bell in your manor, so be it. There will be some explanations for the general benefit which our Board will be aware of.

    We live near Groomsport, what was a fishing village, but with fish quotas, it has become merely a small tourist backwater. It is at the mouth of Belfast Loch, with extensive views of the North shore, a neat little harbour, and small sandy bays. When one stood on the harbour wall, all one saw was the odd tastefully designed house, the Copland Islands, the Town front, and grassy slopes overlooking those bays. Now, there is ribbon spec building on those grassy slopes, that have commercialised beauty for the profit of individuals, at the expense of generations. In this high tech, high speed world that we have generated, beauty in any visual form, and especially long vistas are not just ‘nice’, they are an essential for the health of the mind. This is not psycho-babble 2007, it is a fact that has been recognised since I was a boy, and is why people stream to the coasts and airports every holiday, driven by an inner need they are not aware of.

    We used to build two-up-two-down houses at 70 to the acre, from the days of the industrial revolution, up’ until the late 20s, when affluence was beginning to filter down the class ladder. Now we build them at 12 to15 per acre for spec building and about half that for posh estates. It doesn’t take an Einstein to work out what went into one acre now needs 7 to 8 when the roads and verges are taken into account. Remember in the old days, and I’m talking 1930s and 40s, there were often 6 to 9 people per tiny house, now it averages 3. The government is talking of us now needing a vast housing project, and intends building 3m houses in 13 years, 3m houses equates to 500,000 acres of land, plus revamping arterial roads to accommodate commuting, which means more land. We seem to be getting about at least 100 000 immigrants pa. At even 3 to a house, that means another 4,700 acres pa.

    Farmers are suffering for a number of reasons that most of us know, Many are giving up, and the price of land for building being what it is, others could be tempted. I sometimes wonder, like architects and engineers might, if, when politicians are talking housing, they are forgetting sewerage, drainage, electricity and phones, the mummy run which clogs arterial roads, the shopping traffic, shops and all the rest of the infrastructure, which takes up more land, was never properly thought of initially, and then becomes a headache. It is one thing to put down an estate, but it can become a town, we have all seen it. Then the effect on the landscape is different to the original planning approval, and wars start about Sites of Special Interest, and all the other ecological concerns.

    Tourist Boards are interested in preserving the heritage for visitors, the tourist industry generally, and income. I kneel before them beseeching, that they are well placed for an overview of development and should not only have a greater say in planning policy and decisions, they should be fighting for this green and beautiful land against the onslaught of commercialism.

  • 65 Years Of An Englishman In Ireland, Part 2

    Here I propose to deal with the leisure pleasures, and the quiet serenity of this beautiful island, North and South.

    For those who like walking or scrambling up small mountains, walking for the scenery, not to keep fit, there is such a varied scenery, from the sea shore, bays, inlets, cliffs and sandy beaches throughout the coast, and there are rivers and lakes inland, with access to it all never much more than 60 to 70 miles from the larger towns. One is spoilt for choice. Many of the beaches have few people on them and can stretch for a mile or more, and we do have the Gulf Stream still. There are also beautiful mountain ranges which can be easy or hazardous, whichever you wish, like the ‘One man’s pass’ in Donegal to the Mournes in County Down, and beyond.

    The ever-pictured whitened, thatched cottage, the jaunting car and the donkey with panniers are still to be seen, once in a while, in the remote parts of the West, where they still speak Irish naturally and not just to fool the visitor. Obviously, at fairs and special fetes, The Tourist Board, North and South, will bring some out to impress the visitors. We used to have Horse Fairs in the streets of towns and villages, when young gypsies would run, trotting a horse so the customer could assess its gait. Those days are rarer, there are still special fairs like the Old Lammass Fair at Ballycastle, where one can see it while chewing yellow-man, a sticky form of honeycombe. The turf bogs on high ground have not all gone, they can be seen as part of spectacular views, in many counties and many are still worked. Like the Lake District, the better known beauty spots like Killarney, are best left for an off-season visit, as they will be thronging and parking near the better views is difficult.

    Accommodation and Food and Drink. There are a few multi star hotels, but the general run is moderate comfort in pleasant surroundings, reducing in price to some very good B and Bs. Both Tourist Boards have grading and web sites which give a wide range of information. Booking, off season is generally unnecessary. While there are nationally renowned restaurants throughout Ireland, they are not thick on the ground, and the best that can be said for most is that it is well cooked, farmhouse fare in generous quantities’ There is the Ulster Fry, served in the North in most cafes and restaurants up until eleven am, consisting of anything you may wish to order at ridiculously low prices. It is even used as a come-on in some shops. Drink in Ireland is an experience. While the police are alleged to enforce the open hours, in some country districts, if you were to ask the barman what time he closes he might say ‘October’ In Dublin in particular, where people come from all over Britain, if not further, for Stag Nights, there is a roaring trade in music played traditionally, and also singing is allowed. In the country pubs, the weekend will bring out the boron, the pipes and the accordion. Just remember, in Ireland, drinking isn’t a social grace, it is serious stuff.. The staples are mainly Irish Whisky and Guinness. The latter, if properly kept at a correct temperature in a traditional pub, (in winter I have seen candles burning near the wooden barrels), is a meal in itself. Irish whisky is vastly different to Scotch and especially the Highland malts.

    Public Transport, taken generally, has been a poor joke since they took away our rail network. There is a reasonable service between the cities of Belfast and Dublin and in the vicinity of the cities, and there are fast, long distance buses. If you are not very rich, I suggest you obtain brochures of the areas you would like to see, and spare some time for looking through time tables to plan your holiday to get the best out of it. If you are rich-ish, hire a car or drive here, if you are disgustingly rich, take taxis

    I think you would love this country as I do. Touring is still a relaxing and charming experience, off the beaten track. If you get a guide book out of your local library, brochures from the tourist boards, and above all a relief map, and plan it in a general way, with built in time to wander further, I believe you will return While Ireland has always had its ups and downs politically, visitors will not be aware themselves of anything untoward. Even through the Troubles in Ulster, visitors enjoyed holidays here and neither saw any evil or heard any

    This is a skim over somewhere with history, folklore, superstition, and above all a welcome.